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As you can tell by the title of this blog post, I am going to be talking about self-love. This is something that Jonathan my husband is really good at & I love that about him, plus it rubs off on me.
So why do I believe that self love is so important! First let me start by saying this, I am in no way perfect in loving myself, however, it is something that I am active about doing! There is power in positive thinking! So know that as I write this I too am learning to continue to love myself!
The reason that self-love is so important is plain & simple… because you are important, your thoughts are important & how you love yourself is important! When we do not love ourselves then we can turn to being critical of ourselves all the time. I always knew self love was important but I didn’t know that I needed to be intentional about it. Until one day it clicked & I realized I actually needed to be intentional about loving myself in the same way that I am intentional about loving others. We are usually the worst critics of ourselves, we tend to be the hardest on ourselves, we tend to ignore ourselves so we can focus on something else, and often times loving oneself seems selfish & thus results in us putting ourselves last. Well I think the beauty of self love is that when we love ourselves well, when we are authentic & true to ourselves & when we put ourselves first (not in a way that is only focused on “me” in a superficial way but in a wholistic way) then it is that much easier for us to love others. If you think about it how can you love others well & fully if you don’t love yourself well & fully. Self love is something that does not focus on the superficial aspects of making yourself happy. It is going deeper within yourself & getting down into the negative thoughts. I believe that self love should be a wholistic approach to loving oneself in all aspects of your being.
So you may be sitting there thinking all of this is great but how do I actually learn to love myself. Well honestly this is a personal journey for you. And if you really feel like you are struggling & want to talk to someone then reach out to a counsellor. It never hurts to have another person hearing your heart & listening to the depth of who you are. I think that in and of itself is an act of self love. Loving yourself enough to reach out and ask for help.
However, here are some great questions to ask yourself:
What is the hardest part for you about loving yourself? What prevents you from self love? What beliefs do you have about yourself that are untrue? How aware are you of the negative self talk that you tell yourself? What are some changes you would like to implement in your daily life in learning to love yourself?
Honestly I find that these questions really help build your awareness in some of the areas within ourselves that you are unaware of. It helps us to recognize where & how we are struggling. This allows you to be real, authentic, & honest with yourself. And then you can start to make a plan that will work for you. I am just going to note a few ideas and ways that I have found have helped me below. This may not help you or resonate with you & that is alright. There are plenty of other resources out there for you to read & look at. Here are a few books you can check out if you would like.
So as promised here are some of the things that I have implemented in my life & have worked well for me.
It starts in the Morning
When I wake up in the morning I often tell myself everything that I love about myself. This helps me start my day & really helps my mood. I also have this quote that pops up on my alarm in the mornings:
This allows me to be intentional throughout my day about how I am talking to myself. When I start my day on a positive note & with positive self-talk & thinking then it trickles into the rest of my day.
I take time to do some mindfulness/meditation exercises. This is time for me to just focus on me. It doesn’t have to be anything complex just some time to meditate & give yourself some love. For those who are curious there are lots of free downloadable apps for your phone. Such as Mindshift & Calm.
Self-care…. I will have a blog post coming soon talking about this more. But for now self-care is important in how you feel about yourself. I know that I try to practice self-care on a daily basis. But if you want to know more on my thoughts specifically about self-care, ideas & how to do it then stay tuned for a blog post about it.
This next one may seem small to some but it actually goes a long way. Get up & get ready in the morning, even if you aren’t going anywhere. I feel much better when I have gotten ready. Doesn’t mean you have to get out of your sweatpants that day if you don’t want to but get yourself ready, pamper yourself some.
Positive Self talk/Affirmations
Constantly replace the negative self talk with positive self love. For example… “I am not good enough” replace it with “I am good enough”. Along with this comes affirming yourself daily! Daily affirmations can be such a life changer.
Self love Motto
Come up with a self-love motto & post it somewhere that you can see daily as a reminder to yourself.
Find a good support system for yourself! Find a person or a group of people that you can share your struggle with and that will continuously encourage you.
Not listening to others
I try hard to not let what others say to me define me. (This ones hard y’all).
Be intentional all the time. I think this is just a good life rule anyways!
Honesty & Truth
Be honest & true to yourself.
Like I said these are just a few of the many things that I do. It is all about finding what works for you! I have only gained from continuing to love myself. Self love increases your self confidence which then in turn increases how you feel about yourself!
Loving yourself is an act of kindness towards yourself & towards others. I find that if others sense something different & they realize that you genuinely love yourself then they often follow follow suit. Sure there are days when I don’t feel the greatest or that I don’t remember to love me for me. On those days I have encouragement from those close to me. I love the idea of supporting others in their own journey of loving themselves & in turn having others support me. For me this has changed how I view others, how I view myself, how I speak to others, how I interact with them, seriously the list could go on. One thing that I know to be true is that we should never let the negative words that someone else has spoken to us define us & who we are. Sure this doesn’t mean that those words don’t hurt because they do but do not believe everything everyone tells you. “You are not how other people see you” – Unknown. You know yourself the best & only you get to define yourself! As I said above self love is something that you should be intentional about, it channels your inner self & world & it all starts with you!
After all we are always going to be living with ourselves as this quote so nicely puts it:
“Make yourself a priority. At the end of the day, you’re your longest commitment” – Unknown.
Be true to yourself, be kind to yourself, have grace for yourself, have compassion for yourself, love yourself & talk positive to yourself! – E.S.
Comment down below some of the ways that you show yourself love.