It is no secret that marriage is hard work! I am not an expert in the slightest sense but I have been married for almost six years! I can say one thing is for sure that even though marriage is hard work it is worth all the hard work. I thought it would be fitting for me to write a blog post with some tips and advice that I have either learned over the years, wisdom that has been passed down to me & Jon through others, or things that I learned in my Masters degree.
- Date your spouse. Yes… this is something that doesn’t have to stop & really shouldn’t stop when you get married. Go on date nights with each other. If you want to see some Fall date night ideas that wont break the bank head over to my post here on that. Choose a night weekly that you are able to just put everything else aside and go on a date together. This does not mean you have to spend a lot of money on date nights, the purpose of this is to spend some one on one time together.
- Don’t forget to say sorry. This one can go a long way. I think often times we forget about saying sorry when we have wronged someone. Especially when your spouse has already forgiven you before you have said sorry & asked for forgiveness. I think there is something that allows you to let it go when you do apologize to your significant other. When we are wronged we want an apology so we need to make sure it goes both ways. However, with this one only say sorry when you have cooled down & are ready to talk it out some.
- Be intentional on a daily basis. Intentionality with your spouse is huge. Be intentional when you are listening to them & when you are with them. This means putting all the distractions away and being present with them. It is important to be intentional with your spouse on a regular basis. This helps create some unity but also allows the other person to feel loved & to be loved.
- Put your spouse first before your own needs. There is no reason that your spouse should not come first. I once heard someone say that if mom & dad aren’t getting the time they need or putting each other first then the rest of the family system isn’t going to work well. You married your spouse first, then came the kids. I am in no way saying that your kids are not important because they for sure are. But your spouse should be your number one priority, because in doing so then your kids needs will continue to be met.
- Find a hobby that you both enjoy doing together. This can be reading a book together, going on bike rides, puzzles, playing games, really you name it.
- Choose to wake up everyday and love each other. This is something that I often hear people talking about. Everyday you have to wake up and choose your spouse & that means waking up and choosing to love them unconditionally.
- Have grace, forgive, and show love to one another. These can be through simple tasks on the daily basis. Really it is all about the small things that show someone that you love them. It may even mean learning to speak their love language better.
- Say I love you daily. It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day and forget to tell your spouse how much you love them & adore them. If you are a female make sure to tell your husband how much you respect him & why. If you are a male make sure to tell your wife she is beautiful & that you love her. It is the simple things like this that can move mountains!
- Be kind to one another. No one likes a Debby downer. It is important to always speak kindly not only to your spouse but about your spouse. This comes back to respecting your spouse.
- Take time out of each day to listen to your spouse & to ask them about their day. Don’t just ask them about their day & then keep doing what you are doing. Take the time to ask them & listen to them.
- I know I said 10 but here is a bonus one for you. Have other friends. You can’t expect your spouse to meet all of your needs & nor should they. It is important that you have other friends that you can have conversations with & that are able to relate to you on a number of levels.
I am all about intentionality & being authentic. After you have been married or dating for a while often times we forget about the simple things that make the world of a difference to our significant others. Remember to be intentional in your daily interactions as well as authentic in your interactions. I think we can easily forget that our spouse needs just as much love and affirmation as we do. I think it is easy to forget that. Marriage isn’t easy but thats what makes it that much more intimate. We are imperfect humans & we can’t expect our spouse/significant other to be perfect either. Just recognize that marriage is hard but is also such an amazing blessings & so rewarding. Just be intentional & know that you are not perfect & that you will make mistakes & your spouse will make mistakes but ultimately remembering why you married your spouse.
What are some tips & advice that you have been given on marriage? I would love to hear what some of your thoughts are below.